why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh god it's open bar.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
