she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
