Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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