i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize