I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
