i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
