Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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