I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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