After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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