Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
whose ass print is on the piano?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
