What tipped you off? The sombrero?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
