The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
