another moral hangover. fuck.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize