He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
