Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
