woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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