the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize