pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
