he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There's even glitter on my cock...
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