porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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