i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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