My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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