the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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