For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
