You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
