I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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