i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
