well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
