Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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