We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize