i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
