hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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