Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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