when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How naked do you want me to be?
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