she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
