i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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