I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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