Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize