I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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