He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
