we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
