I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
