Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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