what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize