I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
