if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
