WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
