Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i drank out of a bidet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
