Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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