DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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