I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
