Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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