i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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