I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
