If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bring me that man meat
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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