she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
