chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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