You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
