the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize