if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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