OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
