It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
