Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
