I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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