Where is the hickey?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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