we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
sex in a hospital.. check
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
