you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Randomize
