my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
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