Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
