Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
