if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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