was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
