Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
