508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
