She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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