I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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