and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize