You really coming over, don't trick.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
smell my finger.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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