Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
