He had one of those small greek statue penises
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
