Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
