Having a random hookup so left but love u
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize