I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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