Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
